


Love Runs Through My Veins

by LeighKelly



Series: Annie-verse [6]
Category: Glee
Genre: Blood Donation, F/F, Family, Hospitalization, Motherhood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-15
Updated: 2015-09-15
Packaged: 2018-04-20 23:53:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4807025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeighKelly/pseuds/LeighKelly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When seven day old Annie needs her first blood transfusion, Santana volunteers to be her donor. In the process, she and Brittany continue to realize the immense strength of the bonds that tie together their brand new family.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love Runs Through My Veins

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place after chapter thirty-three of Finding the Way Back, while Annie is in the NICU.

Waiting. There was just so much waiting, all the time. Annie, my Annalise, my absolutely perfect daughter was seven days old, and in those seven days of her life, I think that I'd developed a greater degree of patience than I had in the nearly twenty five years that I'd lived before that. I had thought that waiting for her to be born was the hardest thing in the world. But when that wait was cut significantly short, when Brittany had gone into labor, and I'd met the little bundle of everything I'd never known that I had wanted nearly two months early, I'd realized how much I would give for those easy waiting days. The days where the waiting wasn't for my daughter to take her first unsure breath, for my wife to finally meet her, for the myriad machines to be detached, for my heart to stop aching so hard that I was sure it would completely shatter.

By the seventh day, we'd at least accomplished the first two. Though Annie was still hooked up to more wires than I'd ever seen, though my heart still hurt thinking of the what ifs and the hows in terms of her health, she was alive, and her tiny little barely three pound body was in her Mama's arms, for only the second time in here life, close to her heart, and as safe as she could be, considering. I just watched, I watched the way this little girl, with tubes and monitors and pinpricks on her body rested naturally in the arms she belonged in. I watched as Brittany stared at her, stared at her like she'd never take her eyes off of her, stared at her like she was still in total disbelief that she was real, stared at her the same way I did, because everything, everything, no matter how terrifying, seemed like an absolute miracle.

"Good evening, ladies." Dr. Kellen, the absolute godsend of a doctor, as my mother called him, spoke softly to us, and Brittany smiled, but hardly looked up from Annie, who was just on the verge of sleep.

"Hi, Dr. Kellen." I murmured, seeking out one of Brittany's hands to lace with mine. "How are you?"

"I'm well, thanks. How does your little trooper seem today?"

"Perfect." Brittany sighed dreamily. Having that baby, our baby, in her arms was like heaven to her, and no matter how sick she was, no matter how the machines beeped and blinked, it couldn't change that.

"I'm sorry to have to interrupt your time with her, but I was actually hoping to speak to both of you about the next steps we're going to take in her care."

"It's just about time for us to put her down anyway." I wrinkled my nose, so grateful for the time that we could hold her, but also hating each moment she had to be back in that plastic bubble, away from us, all by herself. "Britt, baby?"

"Yeah, here, you can take her." Brittany passed the baby to me, clearing her throat and sniffling back tears. It was ever harder for her than for me, I understood that, the hormones swirling in her body, combined with that visceral reaction she, as a nursing mom, experienced with even the slightest whimper often wracked her body, and I would hold her close, letting her cry when it became too much to take. "I love you forever and ever, sweetheart."

"Alright,  _mi beb_ _é_ _dulce_ , let's get you settled back into bed." I stood with her in my arms, kissing the crown of her blonde head, and passing her off to the nurse who adjusted her wires and settled her sleeping form back into the incubator. " _Te amo mucho mucho, por siempre y para siempre_."

"How about we step down into my office?" Dr. Kellen offered, and when Brittany stood, I wrapped my arm around her waist to support her still fragile body.

I usually felt like I was headed to my own execution, walking down those hospital corridors, usually away from one of my loves, and to the other, and that instance was no different. I stiffened my spine and remained the pillar of strength for my wife, the woman who, whether she'd realized she was doing it or not, held my t-shirt in a vice grip. Dr. Kellen's office was warm and sunny, but it was plain, like he was afraid to pin up photos of his miracle babies, the ones who'd survived against the odds, for fear of taunting parents like us, the ones who were waiting, the ones who hoped, who prayed, who begged whatever celestial beings that loomed above to let their children end up on the right end of the statistics. I helped Brittany ease into a plush seat, and she winced a little, the angry red gash between her hipbones still far from healed, though much better than it had been, better, enough so, that I knew she wasn't far from discharge, and I couldn't help but press a soothing kiss to her temple, before offering her a bottle of water, and taking back my grip on her hand and settling into the seat beside her.

"Is there anything else I can get either of you? Coffee, tea?"

"No." I shook my head for both of us. "We're alright."

"Okay. So, as you're aware, Miss Annalise has had quite the growth spurt in the last few days. Those ounces are pretty major, for one her size."

"She's a fighter." Brittany spoke, hardly above a whisper.

"She absolutely is. She's got a ways to go, but I have full faith that if she continues to progress the way she has been, she'll hit each and every milestone, and you'll have her home with you before you know it."

"But?" I raised an eyebrow, watching Brittany out of the corner of my eye.

"It's not a but, so much as what we're going to do to hurry that along. As you know, her apnea is posing a bit of a problem for her, and it's greatly effecting the sleep that she needs in order to be able to grow to her full potential."

"So what can we do to cure it?"

"It's not a cure, so much, as a preventative. A lot of cases are caused by anemia, and in looking at her latest round of blood work, her iron count as most definitely low. What it's time to do next is to start her on a blood transfusion, which we expect will help with that. Now, before you get alarmed, this is a non-emergency-"

"A blood transfusion? But she's a week old." I squeezed my eyes tightly shut, unable to imagine someone else's blood coursing through the veins of my impossibly tiny daughter.

"Take mine!" Brittany announced, a passion in her voice that I hadn't heard since before that dark and scary night. "Give her whatever she needs."

"Unfortunately, Brittany, I can't do that. You're barely a week out of surgery, you just had a transfusion yourself, and as a precaution to both of you, we can't give her your blood."

My head was still reeling, as I heard Brittany start to cry, that helplessness rising up in her chest and making her whole body ache. I feared her reaction, I feared she'd want me to fight for her to be able to do this, and I couldn't, I wouldn't. I needed her strong, I needed her to get better, and Annie did too. Squeezing my eyes shut tightly for a moment, I tried not to think of what might go into my daughter's body, when it hit me.

"Does Annie  _have_ Brittany's blood type?"

"She does, but like I said, Santana-"

"I have the same as them. A positive." I remembered back to those forms we'd have to fill out before Sue Sylvester made us do some type of insane stunt, the forms that I often filled out on Brittany's behalf. "She can take mine. She can take all of mine, if she needs it."

"Oh, God." Brittany let out a grateful whimper, and I knew that she'd been thinking what I was thinking, though entirely irrational, about false negatives for diseases, about some sort of evil being passed into her body. I knew how absurd it was, really, I did, like Dr. Kellen had said, Brittany just had a major blood transfusion a week earlier, and I'd been given pints and pints of blood when I'd lost so much of mine years before, but still, she was our daughter, our brand new, less than four pound daughter, it all seemed so much more terrifying.

"I've been screened for STDs, and everything else, and I haven't had a blood transfusion in three years, I haven't slept with anyone who isn't Brittany in longer than that, I've never been to Africa, and I don't have sickle cell anemia, or the flu, or-" I rambled, trying to mentally tick off all the boxes I could remember from sitting with Kurt years earlier when he'd go donate blood (something I'd been certain then that I'd never do).

"Okay. That's perfect, Santana." Dr. Kellen stopped my rambling. "I'll send you down to hematology, we'll get some blood from you. We  _should_ be able to get it tested and prepared over night, and then tomorrow, we'll be able to give it to Annalise."

I sighed with deep relief that after a week of helplessness, there was actually something that I could do for my daughter, actually some tiny, tiny way that I could help her grow and thrive. While the doctor wrote up the paperwork for me, I held Brittany close, I kissed her temple, and I tried to ease the whimpers that I'm not sure she knew she was making. When we'd signed off on Annie's procedure, and I finally had the forms I needed in my possession, I helped Brittany to stand, and wrapped my arm around her waist, letting her lean her tired body against me as I guided her back to her room.

"San." She whispered, taking one of my hands in both of hers, once she'd managed to settle into bed and lean back against the pillows. "Thank you."

"Baby, please. You don't ever need to thank me. She's ours, she's our teeny, tiny, perfect little girl, and for the rest of my life, I'm going to do whatever it takes to take care of her."

"I just-" Brittany dropped her head down, and large, gulping sobs wracked her body, making her writhe in pain at her incision site.

"Come here, come here." I wrapped both arms around her shaking frame, and tried to still her. "It's okay, Britt, it's okay."

"I just feel so helpless. I-I can't do anything for her."

"You can. Britt, you can do the most important thing for her." I reminded her of our conversation from earlier in the week. "She needs you better, she needs you strong, and that's what you're doing right now. Our daughter, she's so, so, so lucky to have you ask her Mama. And right now, she's doubly lucky, because she has two of us. You can keep getting strong for her, and I can give her the blood she needs. You and me, we're a team, right?"

"Mmhmm." She sniffled, burying her face in the side of my neck. "I love you so much, Santana."

"I know you do. And I love you so much, Britt." I rubbed slow, soothing circles of the small of her back, just holding her until the shaking subsided, until the tears stopped, until I was sure she was entirely calm, and probably ready for a much needed nap. "You should get some more rest."

"But I was going to..."

"You don't need to go down there with me. All you're going to see is me moaning about giant needles." I teased. "You're going to want to be with Annie later, right?"

"Yeah." She rasped, her throat raw.

"Then please sleep. I'll be back soon, and I'll come hold you some more, if you want."

"I always want that."

"Good, me too."

After helping Brittany settled back into the pile of pillows, including the one from our bed that I'd brought for her, I tucked her under the hospital blankets and the cashmere throw that Kurt had given her from his car a few days earlier, when I was concerned about her getting chills. By the time I'd kissed her forehead and her hospital chapped lips, she had just about faded into sleep, and with a final murmur of my love for her, I lowered the lights in the room, and grabbed my paperwork to go downstairs. On the way, I passed my mother, sitting in the waiting room, keeping vigil, murmuring prayers with Rosary beads in hand, and I stopped before her, realizing that maybe my hands were trembling a little with nerves, and maybe, maybe, I needed my mom with me.

" _Mamita_." I whispered, standing above her. She quickly broke her concentration on her prayers, and turned her attention to me.

"Hi,  _mija_. What's the matter? Are they alright?"

"Yeah. It's...Annie needs a blood transfusion." I felt hot tears roll down my face, finally breaking, after I'd been strong for my wife.

"Oh,  _beb_ _é_ _._ " She stood up and wrapped her arms around me, holding me tight while I cried. "Is she okay?"

"Yeah. Yeah, she's okay. They're just...her apnea, it's so scary, when she stops breathing, and they think this will help." I pulled back a little, scrubbing at my face with my free hand. "I've gotta...I'm going to the blood place. They're gonna give her mine. I wanted Brittany to sleep for a little while, she's really upset. Can you...?"

"Of course,  _mi amor._  Let me send your father a message that I'll be back, and we'll go together." She pressed a kiss to my forehead. "You never did like needles, my silly girl."

Mamí held my hand as we walked together, and I felt like a small child, despite the fact that I was taller than her, despite the fact that I had a child of my own. I stepped on the scale when I walked in, crossing my fingers that I hadn't lost enough weight to dip below the requirement, and praising Brittany for months of burritos and ice cream when I was deemed healthy, the healthiest weight I'd been in a long time, honestly. Handing off the paperwork to a nurse, he got me settled into a chair, and I squeezed my eyes shut as the needle pierced my skin. Once it was taped to my arm though, I couldn't help but watch, couldn't help but stare, really, as crimson blood filled the bag. There was miraculous, really, I thought, about how something from within me could help my daughter, how I, even though I hadn't carried her within me, hadn't held her beneath my heart, could still give her something created there. That baby, my baby, she owned every part of me already, and sitting there, it was the first time I really realized what mothers always said, about how they'd give their lives for their child. They could drain me of all my blood, as long as it was for her, and I'd go down without a fight. My Annie, my little unexpected miracle, was the most important thing in the world to me, and as big and intense as those feelings were, they didn't scare me, not in the slightest.

"I get it, Mamí." I spoke suddenly.

"Get what, Santana?"

"You told me...you told me that when I was a mother, I would understand things. And I do, I understand that now. I understand what it means to want to do anything there is take away her hurt. Mamí, I just..."

"We don't need to discuss that, not now." She shook her head and set her hand on top of mine. "The future is far more important than the past. And that future is  _mi nieta peque_ _ñ_ _a_  growing strong and coming home."

" _Gracias, Mam_ _í_ _, muchos gracias por..._ "

" _Ya basta, corazoncita._ "

We were silent, through the rest of it, and when I was through, drinking the juice that was handed to me, I asked the hematologist repeatedly if he was sure they'd taken enough, if he was sure I couldn't give more. I left my mother in the waiting room again, accepting her hugs, her prayers for my daughter, the love I needed more than ever, and went back upstairs. Brittany was still sleeping, which I was glad for, and leaving her alone for just a bit longer, I went down the long hallway to see my daughter. She too was sleeping, like she usually was, so I just watched her, just watched the rise and fall of her chest, felt my own twitch, when her breaths came in fits and starts sometimes, and I reached inside the plastic pockets of her incubator to let my fingers brush over her tiny hand, promising her, promising her that it would all be better soon.

After going back to Brittany for awhile, lying with her and holding her tightly while she slept, we ended up back with Annie, getting another chance to hold her before she was put down to bed for the night. Once we were back in Brittany's room, we spent a lot of time on the phone with my father, soaking up his reassurances that Annie would be perfectly fine, and then just lying with our foreheads together for a long time, trading soft, gentle kisses. I didn't sleep much that night, not with knowing what was coming, and even Britt, still medicated, was restless, anxious for the morning to come. She was jittery and emotional the next morning, curling herself into me, crying a little and wanted to be held, and I was happy to comply, holding her to fortify my own strength, holding her because I loved her, and wanted her to feel safe in my arms, the way I always felt so safe in hers. She was slow to get ready, when the time came, but once she was, and once I snuck shower in the patient shower, something the staff kind of turned a blind eye toward, I put my arm around her waist, at we made our way down to the NICU.

"Good morning, sweet baby." She murmured to our yawning, stretching Annalise, and I stepped back a little, wanting to give her space. I had all the time in the world with our daughter, but because she was still restricted, she didn't get the same alone time that I did, and I wanted to offer something along those lines, though I still needed to stand close, in case she felt weak. "So, my precious girl, today, they're going to do something to help you get stronger, and hopefully make it not so scary when you sleep and your body forgets how to breathe. Because your Mamí loves you so much, she went to give them some of her blood for you. And you're so, so lucky, my little bean, you're so lucky, because she's the strongest person I know, and I'm pretty sure having part of her inside you is going to give you some kind of special superpowers. I don't know what it feels like, because I can't really remember much from right after you were born, when they did the same thing to me, but I promise you, I promise you so, so much, that you're going to be okay."

"Britt." I felt my throat tighten at her words, and I was drawn to her, like a magnet, seeking out her hand and standing beside her, watching the way Annie blinked up, like she understood every word her Mama spoke. " _Mi amor_ , I can't attest to Mama's belief in my superpowers, but I can promise you too that you're going to be okay. And soon, when it's over, I'm going to take you in my arms again, and you'll fall asleep with us."

"Ladies." Dr. Kellen approached us, having promised he'd be present for this, since it was Annie's first real procedure. "How are you this morning?"

"We're okay." I answered, and Brittany nodded, squeezing my hand tightly. "How are you?"

"Can't complain." He smiled warmly. "We're ready to get started, as long as you are."

"We are." Brittany spoke surely. "How long is this going to take?"

"Probably about two hours. We'll introduce it very slowly into her system, so as not to shock her. Do either of you have any questions for me?"

"Is it going to hurt her?" Brittany asked, her voice turning small again as she stared at Annie.

"Putting the cannula in her arm is the most painful part, but no, it'll be mostly pain free."

"Alright." I nodded, then directed my attention to Brittany. "Britt, baby, I'm going to bring a chair over here for you. You can't stand for that long."

"Thank you." She whispered, knowing she could argue it, knowing she's promised me that she'd listen to Dr. Singh's orders, knowing that the more closely she followed them, the sooner she'd be discharged, and the more time she could spend in the room with Annalise.

Before I could even move to drag one of the big chairs over close to the baby, one of the nurses did, and with one last touch of Annie's hand, Brittany sunk into it. My first instinct was to hover close, to make sure, even with my complete lack of medical knowledge, that things were going right, but Brittany's fingers, interlaced with mine, kept me tethered to her, kept me at a safe distance. When the needle pierced the baby's thin skin, she let out her mewling cry, the sound that while so quiet pierced straight through my whole being, making my heart ache and throb. Beside me, Brittany bit her lip, holding back her tears, and she slid over, making room in the chair for me. Once the tube was in and she was hooked up to the bag of blood, the blood that once ran through my veins, she calmed profusely, and not long after, she fell asleep, dreaming, I hoped, through the whole experience.

The two of us never really took our eyes off our little girl, except to check the levels in the bag, to see how much had drained, and was running through her impossibly small veins. When it was over, when Dr. Kellen came back from making his rounds and detached the empty bag from our little girl, taping off the entry point, I thought I was just going to breathe a sigh of relief. I was surprised though, when I felt molten hot tears streaming down my cheeks, tears that spoke so much more than a sigh ever could. Brittany didn't hesitate to cup my cheek in her hand, didn't hesitate to press a kiss to my lips, her own emotion coursing over her in waves. It was done. Annie's first real medical procedure was over, and there she was, still sleeping, still breathing, still okay.

"Would you like to take her now, moms?" A nurse asked. "It'll be good for her to get some skin to skin contact now."

"Take her, San." Brittany assured me, and my arms stretched out, dying to have her in them. Quickly, I unzipped my sweatshirt, and I hadn't even realized how fast my heart had been pounding, until the diapered baby was pressed against the skin of my chest, and the rhythm slowed, slowed, until it matched my daughter's.

" _Esta bien, corazoncita, esta bien. Te amo. Te amo con mi todo corazon._ " I murmured to her, feeling Brittany's arm encircle both of us. "It's all over now. Now we just hope this makes it easier for you to breathe, my Annie."

"Do you think it's in my mind, or does she look stronger and healthier to you too?"

"I think she does, Britt. I really do. I think she's the strongest little girl there ever was."

"I don't think it hurts that she has parts of both of us in her, either."

"I-" I stopped for a moment, considering the magnitude of that statement, and felt the tears wet my eyes again. She'd felt like a part of me long before, in both my heart and in Brittany's, but something about those words, coming from my wife, right after our newborn daughter had been given what she had really hit my hard, and I had to stop myself from really losing it. "Wow."

"Our fighter, you're going to make it, baby girl. The three of us, we're going to make it, and for the rest of your life, I promise you, you'll be surrounded by all the love and strength you'll ever need."


End file.
